Kabita Devkota

How would you like to be betrayed? Here are two hypothetical scenarios. A rickshaw fruit vendor sells you a kilo of fresh grapes. You come back home, ready to eat your purchase. But when you open the bag, you realise that the grapes are rather busy fermenting. You go back to the vendor to return the grapes, but s/he is long gone. You got duped.
Let us consider another scenario. A tenant renting your house is a model tenant: he pays the rent on time and he keeps the premises of the house clean. You couldn’t find anything wrong with him even if you tried. This tenant was made in heaven for you. But suddenly your child is nowhere to be found. A day later a ransom note appears, he has kidnapped your child.
Assume both these events are sure to take place in your life, but there is a catch. You could prevent only one event, which one would you choose? Whatever the general consensus may be, one thing is clear. The fruit vendor might be a cheat but the tenant is a cold-blooded manipulator who enjoys playing a wicked con.
“I helped everybody. If they needed their lawns mowed, if they needed their car fixed…anything I was more than obliged to help. Trust me if you need help, I will help.” These are the words not of a benevolent eleemosynary, but a person by the name of Robert Gerald Hoose currently incarcerated in the Iowa Departments of Correction for 24 and more counts of child molestation charges. In a video interview series titled “Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists and other sex offenders” by American psychologist Dr. Anna Salter, Hoose is very candid about the crimes he committed, going in details about the gory crimes, virtually displaying no signs of remorse or guilt.
When asked by the psychologist about how he got access to the children he molested, his reply is chilling. He said, “The best way to fool a person is to help them. I helped their parents, the parents trusted me with their children.” A short excerpt of the video series is uploaded to YouTube titled “A psychopath describes his behaviour”. The video has three million views and over twelve thousand comments, basically echoing the same thing- I never want to trust another human being in my life.
Here is a Latin exclamatory expression: cui bono? It stands for “Who gains by it?” Every interaction I have with another person, I ask these two words to question the motive of the other person. I know it is a cynical and exhausting way of living, not believing in the greater good of human being, being blatantly distrustful from the get-go. But if somebody is too good to be true, they probably aren’t.
From one cynic to another, a method that can be used to vet people you can trust is frequently used by Human Resource Management called probation period. Probation period is a fixed period of time at the beginning of the employment where the new hire is closely supervised to see if they are a good fit for the position. If they perform well on the probation period, they sign a contract and start their employment. Sign the social contract of human trust only with people who pass the test. Being vigilant to protect yourself and your loved ones isn’t misanthropy.