Parmeshwar Devkota

Panchapuri is the highest hill of the Mahabharat range in Surkhet from where one can see a series of snow-capped mountains to the north and the Bheri-Karnali confluence and Bhauratappa to the south. Scores of big settlements lie under forest right below your nose. So the hill holds a lot of tourism potentials.
If you look at straight west from the hill, you can see a beautiful hamlet nearby. With their long history, all hamlets look beautiful. One hamlet is home to a Darlami Magar family, which has been living there in a joint family for four generations. There were over 90 members in the family. Five grandfathers, 15 fathers and their spouses, children and great grandchildren were in the family.
The eldest granddad was the man of strict rules. However, he was kind-hearted and straightforward in nature. The junior to him was introvert in nature and recognised as a selfish person in the family. Among the remaining three junior grandpas, the youngest one was proven as the strongest man in the community. When he was young, he was so strong that he would carry 1,000 reeds on his back to make baskets. The remaining two grandpas were neither cleaver nor dumb.
The eldest grandpa would issue orders to the family members. He had learnt some qualities to handle the family from his ancestors. The old man used to discharge orders in the evening. After dinner, the family members used to gather at the hall that is illuminated by using either fire or traditional lamp according to the season. The seniors took their seat in the pulpit of the hall and smoked hookah (hubble-bubble) turn by turn. The younger generation gathered in jubilant mood and cracked jokes on one another or sang songs and danced in tune of drums and clapping.
Following singing and dancing, the old man used to discharge orders to his juniors for tomorrow. As they received the work schedules for the next day, they used to go to their beds while some seniors would sit at the fire-side till late night.
It was the routine of the Darlami family from ages.
But, all of a sudden, one early morning, the eldest grandpa fell ill. Herbal medicines were applied to save him but to no avail. He passed away next morning. Amid sobbing, wailing and mourning, he was cremated on the same day. Then, the joint family realised a void of leadership. The senior members started giving parallel orders to their juniors only to cause duplication and chaos in their works.
Race for gaining power and position began among the seniors and juniors like the leaders of some big political parties. Following the months of confusion and anomalies, one evening all the family members agreed to break down the joint family into nuclear ones. It took them five days to divide the property and cattle. They split into a total of 29 family units.
When asked how all their families are now doing these days, one prominent member of the family, Om Darlami ‘Aakura’ said, “Though we have been scattered from Surkhet to Banke and Bardiya, all the families are doing well, uncle!”
He added, ‘If the leadership is not tactful and benevolent, it is better to stay separate rather than quarrel by living in a joint family.’