Nishtha Shrestha

Parenting was never an easy task. The difficulty level, however, has increased in the modern times. Parents of the new age deal with stressors which they probably were not prepared for as they did not go through them during their own childhood. The fault does not lie with children because the current society expects them to be outgoing and assertive.

No parent would want their child to be left out and try to provide as much opportunities as possible to help them stay in the race. The downside of this pressure is that the basic teachings get replaced with materialistic options.

The styles of parenting have changed. The rise in the nuclear families has made parents more invested in the lives of the children. With the pandemic, the few hours of break that the parents received as the children spend their time at school was also taken away. The competitive job market and the rise in the living expenses are also contributing to the poor mental health of parents.

The continuous demands from all domains could be one of the reasons behind addictions, divorces and even suicide. With no proper outlets to share the problems, the frustrations then get projected on to the children.

When the health of parents decline, the effects start to be seen in children. Children model their behaviours by observing their parents. Some examples are the ways parents interact with each other, regulate during times of difficulty, engage with community and even enjoy their life.

The home environment is a place to build the foundation for the life skills such as problem solving, decision-making, creative thinking, interpersonal skills, empathy, etc. But the issue now is that either the parents are too distracted meeting the never-ending needs or they are too stressed to focus on teaching these skills.

Both the scenarios have left children to fend for themselves leading to problems such as aggressiveness, low self-esteem, poor peer relations and self-centred behaviours.

The nature of children depends on the home environment. Like any other animals, humans also imitate what they see.

A stable home, secure attachment and feelings of safety are the greatest gifts any parent can provide to their child. The external environment might make one dissatisfied and children complaining for the new gadgets and outings are likely to be a common occurrence.

But if the parents are able to pass on the lessons of survival, children will definitely appreciate them when these skills come to their rescue in times of need. When parents ignore this important parenting duty, it is like building a ship that looks fancy from the outside but is likely to sink when there is a storm.

There is no rulebook that can create a perfect child. Every child is different and sometimes trial and error is the only method available to the parents. But if the home environment can become a secure base, regardless of the type of battle, recovery is always guaranteed.